Episode Five: The Geek Guard

In our last episode: Taylor drove his drugged out sister, Jess, to school and set her loose in the general population. Then Taylor realized…

I had to find the Geek Guard before the first bell.

            I made my way through the school security checkpoint, stopping for the full body scan on the other side before picking up my shoes, belt, and other gear. The sprawling lobby with the twin spiral staircases opened up before me. At the far end was the circular help desk of the Geek Guard.

            Chris was, as usual, on duty. He always liked to work the morning shift since that was when the cheerleaders and other young ladies came rushing in to have their gear looked at. Chris didn’t know the first damn thing about computers. He was our mechanical expert. But he did know a thing or two about ladies.

            He was talking to Monica Belladucci – the swim team captain – about her Ephone. It was having some sort of precognitive meltdown. It kept trying to predict the next person she would call – and it always came up with her ex-boyfriend. Chris, as usual, was smoothly dispensing advice.

            “There is only one way to some a pre-cog meltdown,” Chris explained, “You’ve got to defeat its temporal imperative by showing it that you will not let fate dictate your life.”

            Monica blinked rapidly and looked at her watch.

            “Huh?” she asked.

            “It’s trying to tell you to call your ex-boyfriend. Maybe it senses that you secretly want to get back together with him.”

            “As if…”

            “Right. So the thing to do is show your phone that you are in charge by doing exactly the opposite of what it’s suggesting.”

            “Okay… how do I do that?”

            “By going out with me for dinner on Friday?” Chris asked hopefully. “I’ll pick you up around 7?”

            To his credit, she didn’t say no.

            “And my Ephone?” she asked.

            “Once you say yes, the phone will reset itself.”

            “Okay… I’ll see you at 7…”

            Chris handed her the phone – his finger gently grazing the reset button on the bottom as he did so. The phone blinked and whirred and reset itself.

            “See. Good as new,” Chris said, smiling.

            “Hmm… let’s test this out,” said Monica. “Sorry, Chris… I’ve got plans.”

            The phone didn’t do a darn thing.

            “Yes… you fixed it,” she said, and walked away laughing.

            “Damn,” Chris muttered. “I almost had that one.”

            I tapped Chris on the shoulder and he spun around.

            “How long have you been standing there, Taylor?”

            “Long enough,” I answered. “Listen, buddy, I need some advice.”

            “I’ll say,” Chris replied. “Nobody just walks up to Bethany and asks her out.”

            I shook my head and said, “How did you know…”

            “Your Mom called… wanted to remind you. What the hell is she thinking?” Chris asked. “She does know that you’ve had the hots for her since… forever, right?”

            “I don’t think it’s come up,” I noted. “So, anyway…”

            “Don’t worry, I’ve already started work on the plan.”

            “I was thinking that I might just go up and ask her to come over because my Mom wants to see her. Curiosity should do the rest, right?”

            “Oh come on… you don’t think she’s heard that pick up line before?”

            “Really?”

            “Tried it on her myself… three times!”

            At that moment, Brett appeared carrying his laptop. He was still trying to affix his clip on tie to his impeccable uniform as he approached. He looked harried and discombobulated.

            “Sorry I’m late guys,” Brett said. “There was an accident on the I-15 and I had to take an alternate route. Thank God for my EPS program.”

            “You’re just in time,” Chris noted. “I need you to crunch some numbers for me.”

            “Numbers? For what?”

            “Taylor’s going to ask Bethany out.”

            Brett juggled his laptop and nearly dropped it.

“After all these years?” he asked.

            “My Mom needs to see her,” I explained.

            “What for?”

            “I haven’t got the slightest idea.”

            “What are you going to do?”

            “You’re going to crunch some numbers, Brett,” Chris replied for me. “I will not send Taylor into harms way until I’m confident of at least a 30% chance of success.”

            “Thirty percent?” I asked.

            “Sorry, buddy… it was the best I could do.”

            This was starting to look hopeless. I had known Bethany my whole entire life. We had been in school together since Kindergarten – seated right next to each other during all of grade school. But I was a late bloomer. While Bethany and Jess became best friends, I wasn’t interested in girls. By the time I began to take notice, it was too late. Bethany was the smartest, prettiest, and most interesting girl in the entire school – and, as a result, the most popular. To her, I was just the kid who sat next to her in class, and worse, Jess’s brother. When she and Jess grew apart, my chances to be with her became completely non-existent. A thirty percent chance to get her back in my life was actually pretty generous when I thought about it.

            “Okay, Chris… what do I have to do?”

To be continued...